Never more in my entire life have i EVER wanted to take to another human being with the biggest lump of wood with rusted nails sticking out of it.

WARNING : EXTREEMLY GRAPHIC AND DISTERBING PICTURES

http://www.wretch.cc/blog/amanta&article_id=11240041
http://dogsinthenews.com/issues/0107/articles/010713a.htm
http://sirius.2kat.net/cixiguilin.html


GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

http://www.animalsasia.org/index.php?module=3&menupos=3&submenupos=1&item=3&lg=en




DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!! WRITE TO THE OLYMPIC COMMITIES IN YOUR COUNTRY... BRING THE INHUMANE SOULESS SAVAGERY THEY ARE SUPPORTING TO THEIR ATTENTION! MAKE IT AS PUBLIC AS POSSIBLE.

To be honest at the moment my whole life has took off and left me standing in the dust wondering what the hell i have done. I wotn get into it ow.. but big changes have happened here. Ill go into it deeper later...

But I wanted to introduce you to my new Babies!! My Dachie girl Had 6 puppies a few days ago and we all know how good puppy pictures make us all feel!










And ... my Second Baby... my CAR... My FIRST CAR!!!! a 1987 Mitsubishi Pajero, Recently Imported from JAPAN (yes i know they all come from japan originally but it sonly come here in the last few weeks)I jsut got him today! (waahhh has to stay at a friends place till i come up with the rest of the cash to pay off the loan. but its still in my name and miiiiineee!! *CLING* 20 years old and 80,000ks young.




(click me i work!)


Dont ask about thsoe silly lacey things on the seats.. it must be a japan thing.. they wont be there long.

http://tvnz.co.nz/view/page/423466/1076369

Pass this to as many as you can.... I doubt it will make a huge difference. but imagine if the entire breeds where banned in NZ... how many hundreds.. of dogs would need to be destroyed because two dogs count be cotnrolled by their owner

If it gets passed there... imagine how many other places will soon follow suit.

Just wanted to share this with you all. My mate pointed it out to me... near where he used to live.

... I miss you too much already...

*sigh* .. My mum is in hospital in ICU at the moment as far as i coudl tell she got out of the firs of her 3 ops okay... was about 7 hours. Shes had to be sedated cos they cant do anyhting for her pain. so there was not much point in me going to see her. hopefully i can fidn otu more tomorrow,

Tired... stressd. need sleep.. and its not even 7pm

...You know.. Im getting Really REALLY sick of hearing about how much we australians are under the threat of violence and racist attacks by people coming INOT this country...

Ohh yes but no us AUSTRALIANS are not Alowed to be RACIST and SAY NO to these kinds of things.. i mean how TERRIBLE. And Im getting ESPECIALLY pissed off at These Lebanese FUCKTARDS (not all of them but the bastards who come in here and think they OWN this country and bash and abuse AUSTRALIANS just for being Australians IN OUR OWN COUNTRY) No offence BUT YOU ARE DAMN GUESTS HERE!!! And Personally i think the govenment should have a Zero tollerance. policy.

When the government can deport a criminal to his "home country" of Switzerland for crimes (considering the guy was of AUSTRALIAN parents and he was only born in switzerland cos his mother was on holiday there when he was born) HOW COME these people who make a a POINT of being racist, starting gangland type wars CANT BE DEPORTED. if you want to RUN OUR COUNTRY like your own... THEN BLOODY GO BACK THERE!!!!!!

I mean how woudl YOU feel if you where toldf you coudlnt take YOUR OWN COUNTRY'S Flag.. at a concert IN YOUR OWN COUNTRY.. in case it starts a Gang Colours/ Racist Related RIOT!?!?!?

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=178654

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkLx8tAK9pc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wl_PD2guw4

And when a gang rapist is Celebrated and deiafied for his crimes because they where against an Australian... WHY is he STILL HERE!!! BLOODY HELL Do us Australians have to Move to another country to be AUSTRALIANS in peace? Maybe we should all move to the USA, UK, CAnada and bash you all to death with BBQ's, KANGAROOS and VEGEMITE and take over!!!!! then it woudl all be right with the world!! And gee better not catch Any one toating an Aussie flag around Sydney on Austalia day.. how dare you.. hell why are we having Australia day? isnt that racist? isnt that liek the USA having "White Day" ?

In case ya didnt notice.. im pissy.... too much news for me.. *crawls back into her hole*

alcohol... knumbs..pain... uohh yeahsh. it doews..

I got my new years first.. irt seems okay soooo far...!

hy can't we be Friends

I seen ya, I seen ya, I seen ya 'round for a long long time
I really, I really, I really remember when you drank my wine

chorus:
Why can't we be friends

I seen ya, I seen ya, I seen ya walkin' down to China Town
I called ya, I called ya, I called ya
But you did not look around(yeah yeah)
I paid my I paid my I paid my money to the welfare line
I seen ya, I seen ya, I seen ya standing in it everytime

why can't we be friends

The color, the color, the color
Of your skin don't matter to me
As long as, as long as, as long as
We can live in Harmony(yeah yeah)
I kinda, I kinda, I kinda
Like to be the president
Then I could, then I could, then I could
Show you how your money´s spent

why can't we be friends

Sometimes I don't speak right
But did i know what I was talking about
I know you're workin for the C.I.A.
They wouldn't have you in the mafia

Why can't we be friends!?!!


Sleep When Im Dead. - Bon Jovi

Seven days of saturday
Is all that I need
Got no use for sunday
cause I dont rest in peace
Dont need no mondays
Or the rest of the week
I spend a lot of time in bed
But baby I dont like to sleep no

I wont lie to you
Im never gonna cry to you
Ill probably drive you wild 8 days a week

Until Im 6 feet under
Baby I dont need a bed
Gonna live while Im alive
Ill sleep when Im dead
Till they roll me over
And lay my bones to rest
Gonna live while Im alive
Ill sleep when Im dead

So youre looking for some action
I got got everything you need
Better keep your motor running
cause I was built for speed
This aint no slumber party
Got no time for catching zs
If they say that that aint healthy
Well then livings a disease

Were never going to die baby
Come on let me drive you crazy
Well make every night another new years eve

Till Im six feet under
I wont need a bed
Gonna live while Im alive
Ill sleep when Im dead
Till they roll me over
And lay my bones to rest
Gonna live while Im alive
Ill sleep when Im dead

Sleep when Im dead, sleep when Im dead
Gonna live while Im alive,
Ill sleep when Im dead
Seven days of saturday
Is all that I need

Got no use for sunday
cause I dont rest in peace
I was born to live
You know I wasnt born to die
But if they party down in heaven
Ill be sure to be on time

Until Im six feet under
I dont need a bed
Gonna live while Im alive
Ill sleep when Im dead
Till they roll me over
And lay my bones to rest
Gonna live while Im alive
Ill sleep when Im dead

I feel like Im exploding
Going out of my head
Gonna live while Im alive
Ill sleep when Im dead

Till Im six feet under
And they lay my bones to rest
Gonna live while Im alive
Ill sleep when Im dead

Sleep when Im dead, sleep when Im dead
Gonna live while Im alive, sleep when Im dead!!!!

You know.. I wish more rock bands would do songs with orchestral backing. It sounds so awsome. Someone sent me a version of Metallica's "Fuel" they dis with the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra... It sounds so cool compared to the original one.. i mean not that i knock that one too much.. but its just more.. layered with an orchestra playing that kind of mosic in the background with their own band.

I mean I probly think this cos im a softy for classical and instramental music anyways, I really recomend a Band called "Bond" for that sort of stuff.. if you cant find it ask me and ill send you something from my collection..

And on the subject of music.. i jsut borrowed my house mates U2 album and put it on here.. and.. All the song names and tracks dont match up O_O ... how annoying...

For more than 3 days now this town has been choked to death in smokey haze, it makes the sun and the moon burn red. The winds crept up strong today and cleared about 80% of the smoke out of here but stired the fires up stronger.. so it was no blessing really.

The smoke makes me sick.. and in turn miserble. Theres no one out spending money cos I think everyone feels the same way.. and I desperatly need to make soem money this christmas to pay for the things ive spent.. for.. heh christmas. Its one of those cycles.

Im facing having to pay soemone to run my shop for anything up to 12 weeks early next year, as my mother faces huge.. Huge surgury to try and correct her failing back, talking about multiple pins, steel/titanium in her back in 3 big opperations days appart. Im concerned she isnt looking after her health enough coming up to such a taxing event. After she is out of hospital, which coudl be up to 5 weeks itself for 6 weeks after she isnt allowed to do anything.. not drive, not even lift the blankets to get into her bed.. shes alone and will need someone to help her.. if she messes up durign this time the opperation is a waste and she faces beign a cripple for life possibly (not paralised.. just in tremendous pain and unable to do very much at all), so i want to give her the best chance possible at this working out for her.. it will be this time next year before she can call herself recovered.

My mate brought up the prospect of us both moving back to his home town in Russia... a part of me desperatly wants to do that... just to be on my own and start living my own life that isnt under anyones control.. the other part of me is absolutly petrified to move so far away.. but it was just mentioned in conversation i wont pay too much attention to it at the moment. The costs of him coming to see me in the first place are daunting enough. It must be so painful for him.. all he wants to do is be here to help me with all this stuff.. the shop and mum.. and he just cant.

Got so many things i need to do financially.. but at the moment im stretched to my limits everywhere.. i cant even begin to think how i could gift anyone in my family for christmas this year...lucky if i could do cards. ~_~

..whine whine whine.. winge winge winge.. yeah i know.

Im sure im commitign oen of several sins here.. envy? jealousy?, rage? one of.. all three who knows.. i dotn care... Language...

Why Is it.. unless you are "suffering" away with some kind of sickness.. trying to raise 4 kids ETC ETC... no one gives a shit aobut how broke you are and how stresse dout you are?

I mean.. this lady I was talking to used to be like one of my inseperable firends.. nwo she treats me in my oppinion like shit cos she is "sick" (okay yes she is.. from what I HEAR since she doesnt talk to me is she has Fibro Myalgia (sp?) which can be quite debilitating of course) and has no time for me.. yet she can be best friends with an Aunt of mine and get her to hold her hand and run around and do eveyrhting for her.. yet i barely get a sentance if I say hello..

MInd you.. I went through some of the worst parts of Graves Disease, Severe depression and i STILL am and I never jsut started "idnoring" peopel cos I felt like it.. or biting their heads off for just makign suggestions or DARING to say they where broke.. but its okay for peopel to turn on me for no reason..

I mean i know she is "broke" (ill explain in a sec why i keep being sarcastic about brokeness) ... and she is having a special on Doign sets of acrylic nails all december, (shes a nail tech) I asked her how it was going.. she said she had one or two people booke din.. i suggested she take out a SMALL classified Ad in the local paper you knwo like in the "for sale" section.. like i think it costs $12? for a small thing 6 words? IF that... "I CANT AFFORD IT!" she goes off at me in frotn of soemone else.. like im a dickhead for suggesting it i mean.. if your offerign a speciall.. whats a $12-20 investment if it can make you back say.. $150.00 for an extra 3 people? or more? thats the way i see it.. I just said yes well im broke too... big mistake "oh you dont have 4 kids who need end of year activities etc etc etc (yeah 4 kids who are spoilt damn rotten.. go without NOTHING and do NOTHING for it) I just snapped then and snarled and saild "yeah Im sorry I dotn have 4 kids to feed... i forgot" i dotn think she was paying attention to that..

now.. my main PISSED off... is when your B R O K E... you CAN NOT Find money to buy your Youngest SPOILT BRAT A FUCKING PONY!!!! (that you keep in your BACKYARD along with your THREE DOGS, CONSIDERING YOU abused me about me having 4 dogs in my HUGE yard.. and wanting to keep a pony in its OWN paddock!!) cant FIND money to BUY AN ANTIQUE PIANOLA... you cant Say how broke you are when your WITH SOMEONE who can afford to buy you a $2000.00 ENGAGEMENT RING, you Cant CRY aobut how Broke you are when the SOMEONE your with buys you a $300.00 PARROT for christmas.... IF YOUR SO FUCKING BROKE then perhaps you should STOP 1. BUYING USELESS SHIT, 2. GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO BUY IT FOR YOU.

*GRRRR* I mean yes im sorry that my broke problems ONLY consist of me having to pay for my Phone *$90.00, House *$320.00, Electricity Bill *$1400.00 and oh yes to be personally responsible for all the debts your bussiness incurs and find ways to pay for them and then maybe pay for your own BILLS.. if yoru lucky after tha tyou can feed the dogs.. and then.. perhaps Yourself...(and when your shop is lucky to be making $60 -$150.00 A DAY but you have to buy christmas stock and PAY for it.... its a bit difficult!!)


Hate People I tell you. So damn sick of being alone.. yet i dont want to be near anyone cos of this kind of stuff.. it is torture.

I hate people. I hate living in this house.


9 Of our Ginea Pigs and One of our Dogs where stolen yesterday while I was at work. At least 3 of the Gins will Die because they where too young to leave their mother. The other pup is outside crying cos he has lost his friend, they where only 3 days appart in age and have been together ever since they where bought.

Rang the Police about it, now this is the 3rd time we have had instances with the animals that have had to have been reported to the police. First time it happened we only got an officer to come around to see what we where talking about cos he used to own my Petshop and knew us personally.

Second time the thefts happened, had to go to the station and fill out a report and watch the officer obviously restrain himself from laughing... o O ( Ohh mann what are these girls on about they are ONLY GINEA PIGS) you know what I mean.

The police have done nothing but stuff me around since last night. Rang them at 8pm when we realised the Dog was gone, and then saw the state all of our cages had been left in and our missing pigs. They didnt get back to my call till 9:30pm and said they would send someone round later that night, they ring me back at 11:30pm and said that there would be someone around today at 4pm. I rushed home from picking up some birds from a friends house.. guess what.. No One comes. No calls nothing.

And everyone tells me "Rignt he police report it report it" .. what the hell for? I told them they didnt care. My poor Indiana Pig >_< ... he was one of a kind and the only one I had left from his mother who died... so that line is now gone for good.

And My house mate lost her dog... a 17 week old PUPPY!! i got her for her for her birthday... how fucked up are some people...

Broken. BAttered and Abused by this world.. I want nothing more than solitude...

at some fucking point i dropped my box of prismacolours.. and the whole damn box of pencils... every one of them is broken all the way down. Every one ive tried to sharpen all the ones i havent used with about 3 different sharpeners and they all break.. cant get a point on any of them.. break..break break.. im using a huge amoutn of restraint just to not grab my damn lightbox.. and the pic on it and hurl it accross the room.

Sick to death of this shit. I really do hate my art.. i hate doing it.. i hate having ideas in my head all the time... hate having any thoughts even remotely related to it.

If you think im spiraling down... yes. i am. now get the hell away from me.

CAUTION LANGUAGE. not that it will get read anyway i mean.. my journals are too long for peopel to read all my bullshit.. no one can even read a simple BEGGING request.. even though i do everythign of everyone fuckign else around here. ( dotn mean LJ or DA there either so dotn take it fucking personal)


You know its amazing how fucked up this world is... I mean really. I stop taking these stupid fuckign anti depressants cos i just want to know how "sick" i really am.. and you know what.. i must be hellishly ill cos im off them for 2 weeks and i think everythign really bloody DOES suck and it isnt my imagination.

Im so sick of beign stuck at home.. ALONE i have BEGGED a friend of mine can we go out somewhere tomorrow... to busy gettign drunk to give me an answer i mean i fuckign offer to PAY for petrol, lunch a nd ANYTHIGN she wants JUST so we can go somewhere and I CANT GET A DAMN yes or NO!?!?!? WHY AM I ALWAYS BEGGING people w ho are surposed to BE MY FRIENDS when i want something.. YET if they want money offf me for their fucking phone bills or power bills or gas.. or some other "need" I help out cos i caqnt stand to see my firends go without.. YET I cant afford these damn things MYSELF!?????

I hate my art work.. cant fucking stand it. And you know what.. HELL i cant even give the damn shit away... no wonder. Im tempted to take a torch to the lot of it... Thats how to hell pissed I am with it.

I hate my work.. i hate all the fucking idiots who come in day in day out. I hate doing all that shit work and still having no damn money. I work later than people who get more money than me. I cant pay for my phone, i cant pay my house rent, i cant pay my med bills i cant buy medications.. whatsa the fuckign poitn of working? so i can be a door mast to the animal loving dickheads in this town?

Ive been sick as hell for the last 2 days form sinus headaches and wind.. and now ill probly get a cold... yay.

MY DAMN Dogs killed ANother one of my damn rabbits the otherday. Cos i go to the trouble of leabing them out.. because i feel bad leavign them in their yard. My "poor sick disabled" dog russel who the vets told me would need a $5000.00 op to help him .. cos he "cant" walk etc.. manages to find the strength to tip bricks and rocks off the tops of a rabbit hutch get the lid open and KILL a rabbit.. yeah im glad the bastard of a dog is SO FUCKING SICK. So tempted to get rid of all the fucking animals.. what the hell do i want them for all they do is cause me grief no matter hwat i try to do to look afterthem... hell maybe ill be lucky and wake up one day to find that they have FINALLY all killed each other like my dreams said they would.

Sick of my mother whinging about her terrible life. that SHE WONT DO ANYTHIGN aobut... mind you.. why do i give a fuck anymore... i guess its my destiny to be stuck looking after her for the rest of her damn life.. so that way i wont get to have one of my own.. you know stupid thigns liek marrage and kids... who the hell needs them.. i mean it is my DUTY obviously to look after that damn woman so she can "live her life" even though shed rather spend money on PLASTIC surgury than money on an opperation that can give her MOBILITY back... yess i can see right priorities there.

Got her makign me feelign guilty like shit cos of all the money i had to borrow off h er just to make my bussiness survive... LETS FORGET all the thousdands that dad and I have l eant h... scratch that GIVEN her over the last 15 years!!!!!!!!! that woudl add oop to over $100K EASY... but not lets make your CHILD feel like shit for expecting HER PARENT to HELP her.. oh mygod how dare i ... i mean im jsut there to be her maid and door mat and watch her try to kill herself and only just NOW figure out how its affect5red me cos OH suddenly she has a fear of DEATH that ive had for years ever since i was a KID and she used to say "dont be silly" yeah a little kid who has to LIE to docs about what happedned to her mums wrists... "oh she accidently cut herself cutting potatose..." ARREGGH nooooo MAKE yoru daughter FEEL GUILTy yes MUM im so damn sorry..... *GRRRRRRRRRRR* asoryr msutn bithc.. plenty of us out there WIHTOU mothers...

IF i sold every damn thign i own.. i STILL wouldnt have enough money to see my mate.. i mean.. okay yeah i got to listen to peopel cry on my damn shoulders that they havent seen their boyfriend or girlfirend in a week or what ever..... GET IT RIGHT.. im a very fucking lonly creature.. im ALONE 24/7 because no one bloody GETS ME... at all ... and my mate is on the other side of the damn world and has been for over TWO YEARS.... TWO YEARS without beign aple to place a paw on the person you LOVE... to not see them? to k now in your deepest part of your soul that they are it.. that even a simple argument can reduce you to tears for days on end.... and i got to listen to some one BITCH that they cant get "Commitemnt" out of a girl after THREE WEEKS? boo fucking hoo i say. And of COURSE we are both broke.. hell it woudlnt be my life if we coudl afford to SEE each other.

i got to take MORe days off work to go and see my dad for his 60th birthday on the weekedn so ill have to work like hell with more fruistrated people when i get back cos shes never bloody open" yeah wel HELLO i get pretty DAMN SICK and i NEVER have anyone capable who can cover my damn shop FOR ME!! why!?!? \COS IM ALONE!!!!!!!! cos DADS damn work coudlnt give him TWO LOUSY DAYS OFF..... and they got hundreds of peopel working forthem.

YES i know there are HEAPS of peopel with a worse life than ME many of YOU included so dont think that my ANGER driven rant is me saying that your life is peachy.. its ME saying that *I* am SICK Of things being SUCKY and havign to take PILLS to COVER IT UP!!!!!!!!!!! cos thats all it is a DAMN COVER UP!!!!!!!


ARRGHHHHH!! ive had it! HAD IT H AD IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME@!!!!!!@#

GO ON GET!!!! (!!*(!@*(!!!!!!!!



WHY isnt there a DELETER Whole gallewrty button on Deviant art!!!!!!

I hate to ask, but I really Need a couple of Copies of the Magazine "PC Gamer" November 2006 Issue (its current at the moment) (www.pcgamer.com) Im after a couple of unique codes for Guild Wars ( www.guildwars.com ) out of it... cos Maxie is a Mini Pet Freak... and I want to Surprise my mate by getting him a code too.... I CANT get the US version of the magazine out here (AUS version doesnt have the minipet code) and im not paying for a full subscription when i may not get the issue I want anyway and each code is unique to each magazine.

If Anyone Is able to get me 2 copies (code is different in each one) of these magazines, If you cant send me the mag.. if you coudl even jsut email me the code or somehtign out of them.. Ill pay you for the cost of the magazines vis PayPal.. and for going to this trouble Ill also do you a commision on A3 Bristol With 2 Characters and a Framed BG (thats about $30.00 Worth of Comission to me) Im even willing to do it for someone else as a gift if you dont "need" an art peice at the moment....

So Can ANY of you help me with this? Puuuuhleaaaaseeee?? T_T *puppy narqui eyes*

http://au.news.yahoo.com/060904/23/10ebv.html

The Crocodile Hunter, Otherwise known as Steve Erwin was killed today while filming a documentry in nothern queensland, Australia. Its such a shock, he may have been a celebrity... but his stardom did brign alot of attention to the perils of many endangered species... and he was a loveable aussie larrikin who never did any wrong to anyone...

.. And certainly didnt deserve this. But.. in my oppinion he woudlnt have wanted to go any other way... I just feel so badly for his wife and kids.

See you Later Mate! :(



on a side note... ive had a wisdom tooth drilled out today and i feel crap, and had another fish tank at work crack and leak at work andi lost a heap of my favorite goldfish..huzzah.

You scored as Wolf. You are the Wolf. When you are with someone, your allegience never falters. Your family is very important to you and you will protect that family with all you have, no matter what.
Wolf	92%
Dog	83%
Ram	83%
Bear	67%
Bull	67%
Crow	67%
Dragon	67%
Fox	67%
Eagle	67%
Salmon	58%
Deer	58%
Snake	42%
Stag	42%
Horse	42%

</center></div>

Which animal totem best suits you?

created with QuizFarm.com

I am tired of throwing my arms up in the air and saying "why me?" But.. when everytime i start to get somewhere in my life.. start to feel positive, start to get even the slightest bit better.. SOmthign crushing and dramatic happens to just put me in my place.

Asside from the fact i still havent foudn the courage to put my dog to sleep because of his neck injury (no im not being cruel, hes fine for the moment. Doped on anti inflamitories and pain killers) but i k now it is somethign i got to do. He can not stay confined for the rest of his life. its no life for the dog.

I Have spent the last 3 weeks.. at work till nearly midnight everynight, working hard on sanding, staining and finishing this fish tank cabinet. Its a huge beast, to hold a fish tank 4 feet wide, 2 feet hight and 2 feet deep.... I got it put be hind my counter at work, after a heap more work getting the filter and the tank together.

It was set up, it was beautiful.. i was so proud of what id accomplished. I put all my precious fish in there ive had ffor years. and they where so happy and it was just... so pretty. I spent all day yesterday cleaning up all the old paper work and stuff out of the shop so i could move the cover peice of the cabinet (with shelves and a cover that goes over the whole tank) Putting it on with a friends help... the light on the top of the tank falls into the inside of the glass and gets pushed agaisnt thew side of it.. and *smash*

the whole side of the tank gives out, huge crack running from top to bottom, water spewing out everywhere, all over my new carpet, all over the just stained cabinet, all over my shop floor. HAd to quickly catch the fish, i think i lost one or 2.. not sure... And just watch the water pour out of it.. i coudl do nothing but wait for it to empty.. and then spend all the time mopping up the mess.

... basicly im shattered about it.. about as much as the glass.

.. i mean really... am i just being paranoid that i feel picked on? by "life"

...perhaps i should just gobble down some more antidepressants and thyroid meds and just shrug it off... again. I am sorry Im of no help to any of you and your own sufferings at the moment... i have tried to be as much as i can. But.. just cant right now. Sorry.